by Ram ben Ze'ev
Social media, once envisioned as a platform for meaningful connection and the free exchange of ideas, has increasingly devolved into a digital battleground. Each day, millions engage in heated debates over politics, religion, and culture, often without any hope of changing hearts or minds. Instead, these arguments leave participants frustrated, drained, and further entrenched in their positions.
For those seeking guidance, Judaism offers timeless wisdom on the importance of discernment in conversations. In a world where "winning the argument" has become an obsession, Jewish teachings remind us that not every battle is worth fighting—especially when it involves individuals unwilling or incapable of listening.
The book of Mishlei (Proverbs) warns, "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him" (26:4). On social media, where anonymity often emboldens people to speak without accountability, this verse is particularly relevant. Engaging with someone whose goal is not to understand but to argue for argument's sake risks dragging both parties into a cycle of hostility.
The wisdom of Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers) also offers clarity: "I have found nothing better for the body than silence" (1:17). This teaching is not a call to withdraw from important discussions but a reminder to choose one's words—and battles—carefully. Silence, especially in the face of provocation, is often a stronger response than a retort that falls on deaf ears.
Social media's structure often exacerbates the futility of online arguments. Algorithms reward inflammatory content with visibility, incentivizing users to prioritize provocation over thoughtful discourse. Furthermore, the lack of face-to-face interaction strips conversations of empathy and nuance, reducing complex issues to polarizing soundbites.
Jewish tradition understands the dangers of such exchanges. The Talmud teaches that true dialogue requires humility and a willingness to listen. In Eruvin 13b, the Sages commend the disciples of Hillel for always presenting their opponents' views before their own, demonstrating both respect and a genuine desire to find truth. Contrast this with today's culture of "gotcha" moments, where participants are more interested in scoring points than in fostering understanding.
Judaism encourages evaluating the potential outcome of any discussion before engaging. If the person is unwilling to listen or incapable of understanding, disengaging respectfully aligns with the Torah's wisdom. However, when correction or guidance is necessary (e.g., tochacha, rebuke), it must be done with sensitivity and only if it may have a positive impact (Vayikra [Leviticus] 19:17).
On social media, this principle can guide us to discern when to engage and when to remain silent. Before entering an argument, ask yourself:
Is the other person genuinely open to dialogue?
Will this conversation lead to greater understanding, or will it simply sow more division?
Am I speaking out of a desire to help or merely to "win"?
If the answer to these questions suggests futility, silence may be the wiser course.
Avoiding fruitless arguments does not mean retreating from important discussions altogether.
Instead, it means channelling your energy into conversations where real progress can be made. Seek out platforms and spaces where respect and nuance are valued. Engage with individuals who, even in disagreement, are open to listening and learning.
Furthermore, use your voice to share ideas constructively. As Tehillim (Psalms) advises, "Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit" (34:14). In practice, this means contributing to discussions with kindness, clarity, and integrity rather than succumbing to the negativity so prevalent online.
In an age of constant noise, the wisdom of silence is more important than ever. Judaism teaches us that true strength lies not in shouting the loudest but in knowing when to speak and when to refrain. Social media may tempt us to argue every point and correct every misstatement, but as the Sages remind us, not every battle is ours to fight.
By choosing our words—and our battles—wisely, we can rise above the chaos of online arguments and focus on building a world that values understanding over division. In doing so, we honour the timeless wisdom of our tradition and set an example for meaningful dialogue in an age that desperately needs it.
###
Bill White (Ram ben Ze'ev) is CEO of WireNews Limited, Mayside Partners Limited, MEADHANAN Agency, Kestrel Assets Limited (developer of MAYCOINS), SpudsToGo Limited and Executive Director of Hebrew Synagogue